It comes up. Sometimes out of nowhere. Sometimes after a bad day, a match on TV or a notification on your phone.
The urge to gamble. A pull in your chest, thoughts that start racing, a voice that says: just once.
If you feel it right now, read the box below first. The rest can wait.
Feeling the urge right now?
- Set a timer for 15 minutes. You do not have to manage "never again". Only these 15 minutes.
- Go somewhere else. Another room, outside, out of the house. Leave your phone where it is.
- Do something with your hands or body. Walk, wash up, take a shower, run cold water over your hands.
- Send one message. To someone you trust: "I am having a hard time. Can you call me?"
- Not working? Call the National Gambling Helpline on 0808 8020 133. Free, 24/7.
After 15 minutes, check again. Often the peak has passed.
What an urge actually is
An urge is not an order. It is a wave. It rises, gets stronger, peaks and falls again. For many people the worst of it passes within ten to twenty minutes, especially if they do not give in and do something else.
The hard part is that at the peak it feels like it will never go away. As if you have to choose between gambling and feeling like this forever. That is not true. You do not have to push the wave away. You only have to get through it.
Where your urges come from
Urges rarely come from nowhere. Usually something sets them off. Once you know what that is for you, you see them coming sooner.
Times. For me it was evenings and weekends. The hours without work and without a plan. For you it might be your lunch break, the middle of the night or Saturday afternoon.
Feelings. Stress, boredom, loneliness, anger. But also good feelings, like payday or a night out.
Things around you. A match, an advert, an app with odds, a friend talking about a bet, money landing in your account.
Your body. Tired, hungry, short on sleep.
A useful check is HALT. When the urge comes, ask yourself: am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired? Often the answer is yes. And that is something you can sort out without gambling.
Five things that help in the moment
1. Delay it
Do not tell yourself "I will never gamble again". Tell yourself: "not for the next 15 minutes". That is doable. Set a timer. When it goes off, decide again. The urge is often weaker by then. Still there? Set it again.
2. Ride the wave
This is sometimes called urge surfing. Instead of pushing the urge away, you watch it. Where do you feel it in your body? Is it warm, tight, restless? Is it getting stronger or weaker? Breathe slowly and describe it to yourself, as if you were watching from a distance. You will notice it changes. A wave does not stay at its highest point.
3. Play the film to the end
Your head only shows you the start: the excitement, the possible win. Play the rest of the film. What happens after the first bet? The second? How do you feel at 2am? What do you see in your bank account tomorrow morning? Who will you have to explain it to?
4. Call someone
Not to justify yourself. Just so you are not alone with it. Talking about something completely different works too. Urges are stronger in silence.
5. Make it hard to act on
In the moment, you do not want to have to fight yourself. Make gambling simply difficult at that point. GamStop, a blocker on your phone and your bank's gambling block. How to block gambling sites, apps and bank payments shows you how.
The free recovery kit in the app has these exercises in one place, with a timer and the helpline one tap away.
Do gambling urges go away?
This is the question almost everyone asks. The honest answer: for most people, urges become less frequent and less intense over time. The peaks get lower. They pass sooner. You recognise them faster.
But it is not a straight line for everyone. After a quiet period, an urge can suddenly come back, for example after a big life event, on a free evening or around a major tournament. That does not mean you are back at the start. It means you know what to do when it happens.
What helped me was rhythm. Fixed things at fixed times, especially in the hours when I used to gamble. The fewer empty hours, the less room for the urge. More on that in What to do instead of gambling and, for the hardest days, How to stop gambling urges at the weekend.
What not to do
Test yourself. "I will just look at the odds." "I will go to the casino with them, but I will not play." That is the urge looking for a way round.
Rely on willpower alone. Willpower runs out on a bad evening. Locks, people and plans last longer.
Feel ashamed of the urge. Having urges is not a failure. It is a result of years of gambling. What counts is what you do with them.
If you did gamble
That does not prove this does not work. Look at what happened, close the gap you went through and start again. What to do right after a gambling relapse walks you through today.
When to get more help
If urges come very often, if you are thinking about gambling most of the day, or if you cannot get through them, it is time for outside help. Call the National Gambling Helpline on 0808 8020 133, free and open 24/7. In England you can also refer yourself to an NHS gambling clinic, or talk to your GP.
Remember this
An urge is a wave. It rises, it peaks and it falls. You do not have to beat it. You only have to get through it.
Fifteen minutes. Then check again.
Frequently asked questions
How long do gambling urges last?
Urges usually come in waves. For many people the worst passes within ten to twenty minutes, especially if they do not give in and do something else. Set a timer for 15 minutes and check again.
Do gambling urges ever go away?
For most people urges become less frequent and less intense over time. They can come back after a quiet period, for example on a free evening or around a big tournament. That does not mean you are back at the start.
What can I do when I get the urge to gamble?
Delay it for 15 minutes, go somewhere else, do something physical, message someone and make gambling hard with GamStop, a blocker and your bank's gambling block. If it is too much, call the National Gambling Helpline on 0808 8020 133.
Sources
Help with an urge, one tap away
The recovery kit in the app is free: a 15-minute delay timer, a message to your person and the helpline.
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